Que Sera, Sera
by ldyLen01
Summary: Follow F!SS Cadence on her journey across the wasteland as she tackles demons of the past while taking on radiation, super mutants and love in the Commonwealth.
1. Chapter 1

**Author Notes: Things will stay mostly true to the game, however I will bring in modern aspects to the story. Please enjoy and leave a review. Thank you!**

 ****Super appreciative shout out to Delila Shale for aiding me during my time of need****

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Fallout 4 or any of its characters.**

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Hollow. Empty and lost. It was always the same feelings every time she opened her eyes and that glorious Commonwealth radiation blinded her. Those short sweet minutes drifting off into oblivion now felt like a cruel joke. Groaning in annoyance she rolled onto her stomach and shoved her head beneath the lumpy straw pillow, the smell of dust invading her nostrils. The small warning bell rang out eagerly with the promise of food and Dogmeat whined restlessly to rouse her from her bleak sleeping arrangement on the bare ground.

"Uh,... okay, okay I'm up boy." Her hands slide through her knotted hair, rubbing at the dull pang in her skull.

Cadence barely slept as it was, what with anything and everything either trying to kill you or eat you. The midmorning stench of decay was ripe as she inhaled, stifling a yawn. The pungent smell made her ill and it took great effort not to throw up the entire can of Cram she'd forced down the night before. She missed food, decent food, the kind that made you feel like you could live off of it for weeks without eating again. The feeling of being full was infinitely better than this constant ache of desolation.

It made her realize just how much she'd taken for granted, like a hot shower or a restful sleep. When she could she bathed in the small shaded brook behind her old house and it never failed to refresh her, though she didn't care for the looks she'd later receive from the others for even bothering with hygiene, not to mention her obvious lack of concern for radiation poisoning. Thankfully someone out there had been smart enough to create Radaway, which she never went anywhere without. Bathing wasn't the luxury it had been but it was something and she didn't take it lightly. It was one of the only things left in the world that allowed her to feel normal, if that was even possible. Her simple bird dips would never take the place of a proper bath though and she wished desperately that she could pamper herself for even one more time the way she used to. She could still smell the lavender candles that sat neatly across the back of the toilet, still see them flicker with excitement at the slightest hint of a draft and she could still feel the silky peach scented bubbles crowd her aching limbs as she soaked every night she could afford to. It had never failed to send her into a trance, the kind that led to a relaxing nap. Apparently in this day and age, naps were overrated. In fact she hadn't come across a single soul who even knew what one was. Much like bathing it had become an extravagance that nobody could be bothered with, she suspected out fear. Unlike the others she partook in the activity with ease, her body unable to adjust to the strangely long days that accompanied this new world.

Most nights she just laid awake, listening to the peculiar ambiance of the wasteland while plagued by memories of the past. At this point it felt like a waste of time to even attempt to sleep, especially with a more pressing issue at hand. It had been three months since she'd woken from the worst nightmare of her life, only to enter another that she couldn't escape. From the moment she'd stepped out of Vault 111 she'd been searching for her child that had been kidnapped and the Commonwealth wasn't going to make it easy for her.

Codsworth, her family's Mr. Handy butler robot, was the first thing to catch her eye when she'd trudged with heavy heart and foot step back into the once beautiful neighborhood she'd lived in. His once brilliantly polished metal body casing had been weather worn and rusted, a reminder of the devastation that had occurred. A gentle breeze tussled her shoulder length golden locks as she stared at him with a sinking feeling deep in the pit of her stomach. He was still diligently tending to the front hedges at the front of the house that she used to call home and for a brief second, she could still see the beautifully manicured sidewalks lined with maple trees covered in warm Autumn leaves. A sigh escaped her lips as she pulled herself back from what was and walked up to him reluctantly. He had been incredibly excited and overwhelmed at her return, carrying on about what had happened over the years, then instinctively inquired about her husband, their son and what she was going to do about it. She decided to venture out, hopeful that she'd come across some kind of clue as to the whereabouts of her precious bundle.

That brisk walk from Sanctuary to the mostly still intact Red Rocket Truck stop had been insanely lonely and eerily quiet until she'd been greeted by a most unexpected new companion. She'd never been so happy to see a dog in all her life. He'd come bounding up to her, tail wagging, ears frisked to attention and barking. Carefully he studied her for a moment with head tilted slightly before stepping up to her and sniffing curiously. He licked her hand eagerly, tongue lolling out as he sat back on his haunches, once again staring up at her with a look of longing that seemed to indicate he'd known her for years. She knelt down to meet him.

"Hey boy. What are you doing out here all by yourself?" Out slipped a single whine in reply as he solemnly hung his head.

Cadence exhaled with a ragged breath. "You wanna come with me, pal?"

His fur had been softer than she'd imagined it would be, like a freshly tumbled throw blanket out of the dryer, warm and comforting as she ran her fingers through it cautiously. He whimpered softly up at her, his fiery amber eyes seeming to reassure her. Burying his snout under her arm, he nudged against her when she started scratching him behind the ears. Smiling she dropped her hand to her side.

"Well, okay then. Let's stick together." Returning to his feet he barked his approval.

As if it hadn't been enough excitement for one day suddenly a hoard of ridiculously large mole rats had surfaced from their underground layer. Six sets of beady glowing eyes immediately caught sight of the two, their evident distaste for intruders made apparent by the high pitched hissing as they clawed one by one out of the muddy abyss. She cursed under her breath as she carefully rose to her feet, taking a few steps backwards to gain some distance. Dogmeat, as he'd been so aptly named instantly went on the defensive. His ears flew back, pointy canines bared in warning as a low growl escaped his throat. Moving slowly, he positioned himself between Cadence and the advancing super rodents. Steadily she took aim with her hands gripped tightly around the stock of her newly acquired ten millimeter pistol. Sweat began pooling beneath her fingers as she inhaled with anticipation. Exhaling loudly she fired off round after round into the incessant beasts, while Dogmeat, a flash of fur and teeth, tore into them with ease.

It had been one thing after another by the time she'd made it to Concord with her trusty side kick hot on her heels. Raiders had been a pain in the ass for sure but well worth the challenge when she happened on a group of trapped settlers holed up in an old museum. When she'd wormed her way inside and taken out the remaining renegades preying on the terrified, grief stricken stragglers she was met with gratitude. Huffing she paused to pull the sunshine yellow hair band from around her bony wrist and fix her hair up into a tight pony tail. Anxiously she brushed the dust and dirt from her bright blue form fitting vault suit before continuing into the decrepit door at the end of the hallway. It took all of five minutes for her to be introduced to that small group of unfortunate souls who'd later become the closest thing she'd ever had to a real family. Aiding them in their quest for a new home had given her renewed hope of survival.

With the help of her new friends she managed to stay alive those first few weeks, all while she'd come to terms with what it would take to find herself and her son. It hadn't been easy keeping her calm or her sore, bruised appendages intact, in fact she was pretty sure she'd lost her mind that first day but the suit of power armor that Preston had insisted she hold onto had been a blessing to say the least. Friends. It was weird when she thought about it, much less being able to call them that. That had been another blessing she hadn't expected. Friends had been few and far between before the war, though she couldn't really blame anyone for not wanting to aquaint themselves with a lawyer. Most of the ones she'd worked with had been pompous, over payed scumbags and had obviously been suited to the job of putting their own kind away behind bars. A queasy feeling hit her when she'd reminded herself that they were all dead now, that everyone she'd known, with the exception of herself and little Shaun, was gone. Skeletons were what remained of the old world, covered in tattered rags, laid where they'd fallen those many years ago. Her slender arms reached towards the sky, she groaned angrily at the searing pain of a headache forming behind her eyes while she tried to stretch out the cold from her bones. When she really thought about it, she wasn't so sure she could call herself fortunate in the end.

No matter how hard she tried to focus on the present, to think of being reunited with Shaun, to feel his fragile fingers wrap around hers, to see his sweet little face, she'd been forced to think of the life that had been ripped from her. Talking about her problems with others had always been an issue of hers, it made her feel like a burden so she made it a habit of keeping to herself. She knew better than to keep everything bottled up, like a shook up nuka cola ready to explode at any minute but she wasn't ready to open herself up to anyone, she didn't know if she'd ever be able to in this new world. She squinted up at the dusty yellowed sky and cursed at herself for letting the memories flood her brain again. It wasn't like her pre-war life had been a great one, it had its good moments but when she compared it to now, it didn't really feel much different. She was just as lost in life then as she was now.

Things at home had been horrible and that was putting it mildly. Not long after Nate had outprocessed, retiring from the service, he had given her the ultimate gift of showing her his true colors. She'd never been able to wrap her mind around his need to consume enormous amounts of alcohol so the he could have a good time, she could have a few drinks on occasion and feel sated for months. When he wasn't out getting hammered with his friends at the local bar down in Concord he was home getting shit faced and beating on her. Naturally she was shocked and heart broken, but leaving him had never been an option, not in those times.

A thin cloud of stale smoke rolled off her cracked coral lips as she steadily exhaled from the much needed drag from a cigarette she'd bought off of Carla during her latest visit. Never before had she been a big smoker but the nicotine eased the throbbing of that god awful pain gripping at her gray matter and she wasn't about to sit through it without some kind of relief, especially when her mind had decided to go on a little trip again today. She walked the edge of the water, her hair swirling, tangling around her as a solid gust of wind made its presence known. A measly grin formed on her face when she faced the irony of it.

Nicotine and vomit, that was what Nate had smelled like the night he'd returned after a night of heavy partying. She'd never forget that repugnant smell for as long she lived. It was all over him and the back of the cab that he'd christened on the ride home. The driver had been understandably upset when they'd finally arrived at the end of the driveway. He'd snatched her five foot nine inebriated husband from the backseat without much difficulty and laid his pathetic ass right there on the front lawn. Uncomfortable heat rose insider her cheeks, turned crimson with embarrassment but whether the man had noticed or not made no difference, it wasn't going to be the last time Nate would put her in that position. She'd apologized profusely to the man but it just fell on deaf ears as he began making the already awkward scene worse with his raised, agitated voice alerting the surrounding neighbors to the disturbance. Lights flickered on and eyes could be seen peeking through the blinds of windows as curiosity began creeping into the other homes. Her palms grew cold and damp beneath the cottony fabric of her robe that she'd donned to step outside in. It wasn't enough that she'd have to drag her intoxicated husband into the house but now she had to deal with the damage he'd wrought on someone else and the potential rumors it would bring about them if she didn't' get him into the house before a neighbor with their judgmental nose raised high in the air would saunter over to inquire upon the situation. In a desperate attempt to avoid further mortification she insisted in a hushed manner on paying the fees for the detail clean he'd absolutely need to remove the smell from the vehicle. Hastily he accepted the money from her, returning to the vehicle and with the tip of his tanned fedora he bid her goodnight, speeding off into the night.

When Nate gained enough consciousness to pick himself up off the floor of their living room he immediately accused her of making eyes with the mechanic, who had just fixed their car, down the road at the Red Rocket Truck Stop. Slurring out his jealousy was the least of his problems as he nearly tripped over his own feet trying to stand up and face her. It made her sick to her stomach but she knew he was just spewing hateful frustration at her, undoubtedly from the massive pounding in his head. Her eye roll had been enough to set him off but then she made the unfortunate mistake of turning away and laughing at his bone headed tirade. Lunging at her, his teeth bared like some kind of rabid dog, he forcefully shoved her into the wall. Blood streamed down her lips, painting them a deep red and leaving a metallic taste on her tongue as she screamed out in anguish. Still reeling from the impact she felt one of his hands grab her by the pony tail and yank it, pulling her towards him again. With the other hand he'd spun her around to face him and as she tried to push away with the remaining strength she had left, he'd buried a fist into her stomach, doubling her over in crippling pain. The look of rage on his face would haunt her dreams for many years to come. Those deep chocolate optics that had drawn her in an enveloped her very soul had turned cold, calculating, glazed over with pure maliciousness. As she laid balled into the fetal position on the floor, coughing and crying, a single thought crossed her mind. He was that guy. Nate was a possessive drunk asshole. Flicking ashes down into the muddy banks of the creek that encircled their tiny isle she couldn't help but wonder why she'd never seen it before then. Maybe he'd been great at hiding things or she was great at ignoring them, either way it hardly seemed important now.

Oh sure, they'd learned to put on a smiling face around the neighbors but it never sat right with her. Anytime they'd run into his old war buddies or her colleagues it was the same, smile and wave, but never linger long enough for them to ask questions. It was amusing, in a sick way, that when they were out together in public everything was sunshine and rainbows but as soon as they crossed the threshold of their dreamy "House of Tomorrow" in the quaint paradise of Sanctuary Hills, that's when they entered the portal to hell. It was easy. It was so easy, it made her want to vomit right then and there in front of everyone.

In that moment of solitude, on hands and knees spent scrubbing furiously at the splatters of blood that littered the cream colored tiles for the umpteenth time, a wave of realization crashed into her, chest tightening so painfully she was sure she'd been having a heart attack. Her life was in ruins. The man she'd married, the man she'd loved with everything in her being, had become the walking, talking, embodiment of everything he promised he'd never be and somehow down the line she'd allowed it to happen, she'd brought it on herself. It all hit her hard, like a baseball connecting with a bat. She was no longer that educated, accomplished, blonde bombshell with soul stealing blue eyes that had stopped him in his tracks, she was no longer the sweet but sassy woman with a free spirit and heart of gold. His loving wife and best friend ceased to exist. No, she'd never be that girl again. How could she? He'd beaten that woman to death.

Any chance she had she tried not to upset him or get in his way but it was ultimately useless. PTSD was what he'd suffered from but she never knew, because he never had the heart to tell her, much less confront it himself. All she knew was that he'd drug their marriage down the hole that he slunk into with each session of drunkenness. He'd lost pieces of himself while serving but nothing could've prepared her to face the torment he'd been forced to live day after day. He could see it all, the explosions of tanks as enemy missiles rained down on them like an early spring shower and hear the screams, those frantic screams of fallen comrades as their bodies were mangled from flying shrapnel, every time he blinked. No matter how hard he willed it away it always snaked its way back into the dark corners of his mind, like a maggot into rotting flesh. Nate had grown to hate how ignorant she was to it all. Most days he'd refused to look at her and each morning when she'd leave for work, dolled up and ready to take on the day he went straight to the bottle without any qualms. As far as he was concerned she knew nothing of the way the world worked, how cruel and unforgiving it really was but he'd make her each night if it was the last thing he'd do. Something about her had rubbed him the wrong way, made his blood boil with contempt. It went on for months and deep down a part of her was ready for him to end it all, snuff out what little light she was clinging to in vain. Even now, arms wrapped loosely around herself she still felt weak, incapable of being strong, unable to let go of what was and all the things that had changed her. She didn't even know if she could be a mother out here in this desert of death. Even if she did find Shaun, how could she look at him and not feel undeserving of him.

Absentmindedly, she kicked a tin can as she walked the broken asphalt path back into the neighborhood. She wanted to justify it for him, wanted to understand why he'd felt the need to break her down to nothing, to no avail. Her misty eyes drifted from one damaged house to another as she made her way around the bend and back into the company of the others. She could hear Marcy bitching, laying into Preston again about Mamma Murphy laying off the chems.

"I'll stop complaining when there's nothing left to complain about." Groaning inwardly she forced herself to turn around and go back the other direction.

That woman was well on her way to a good right hook to the face, and Cadence was gladly the one to give it to her. Delicately she rubbed her temples, her head throbbing with enthusiasm. Marcy's voice alone was punishment enough but the constant berating of everyone else in the group would've drove anyone to put a bullet in her head, had it not been discouraged. She knew it was Marcy's way of grieving but the woman was completely in denial that she was the only one who was suffering from the loss of a child. Cadence felt sorry for the couple and her heart ached especially for Jun. He was always a wreck whenever he stopped to chat with her, always beating himself up over what was and yet he had to deal with the negativity of his wife on top of it. When Marcy turned in each night it gave the group some peace and quiet but also gave Jun a chance to grieve without her making him feel guilty about it, which she was increasingly good at. If she had to commend her on anything, it would be that at least she was consistent with her badgering. It reminded her of Nate and when his demons would come out to play. Settling down on a ratty old chair inside one of the dilapidated houses she could feel the wheels turn and turn, the memories replaying in her head like some bad movie. Flipping the top off her lighter, she slide the tip of her finger over the flint, staring intently into oblivion as the flame danced to life. Their love had burned to ash before her eyes and he'd lit the match.

He was relentless, using any excuse he could to take out his grievances on her. Some of her personal favorites, because she'd actually done them, were that she'd dumped his brand new six pack of Gwinnett down the sink or that she was hiding his favorite flip lighter so he couldn't smoke in the house. One time in particular, he'd caught her in the act while she'd thought he was asleep. Kneeling over the trash can in the bathroom she ripped his cigarettes up one by one, tossing them in lazily, unaware that he watched from the dark of the hallway, like a lion stalking prey under the cover of night.

"What the hell, do you think you're doing?" A chill went up her spine, his rugged hand tightly gripping her shoulder, his fingers digging deeper and deeper into the bone.

A measly squeak escaped her parched throat, a feeble attempt at a reply. Turning to face him proved foolhardy as his fist busted her bottom lip clean open. The stench of alcohol and sweat seeped through his pores as he pressed his hands to her cheeks, the distance closing between them. She knew what he was getting ready to do and her jaw clenched, the anger she'd been holding onto steadily bubbling up inside. Each time he'd attack her he'd immediately try to kiss her afterwards, but this time she wouldn't give him the satisfaction. Jerking away from his grasp she tuned away and kept her eyes to the ground, refusing to acknowledge him at all while she braced herself for the retaliation sure to follow her small act of rebellion. None came. Thoroughly confused her lids lifted, slowly, to find him walking away. She let go of the breath she wasn't aware she'd been holding in, her dainty fingers chanced comforting the wounded skin of her lip. It stung but she refused to cry anymore, vowing her tears wouldn't be wasted on him any longer. Deep down she knew she'd become indifferent, that he had changed her for the worst, she'd never be able to trust or love again, not the way she'd loved him. The emptied, broken heart still pumping beneath her ribs had frozen over, much like the people had been in Vault 111.

They had become strangers living in the same house. She could no longer reach her husband. Instead of seek solace in the comfort of his wife's arms, Nate spent his time with an old war buddy, Dave. That smug son of a bitch was always the fuel that fed the fire and Cadence hated him with a passion. It became a regular occurrence, him traipsing through their front door unannounced and unwelcome. She stifled a snort as he ambled past her and towards the refrigerator, decked out with his ebony hair slicked back, half burnt cigarette hanging off his lip, that God awful cologne that smelled like cat piss mixed with whiskey and the ugly tattered greaser jacket slung over a single shoulder, like some teenage heart throb out looking for a date. Dave was smart, he knew how to layer on the sweets when enticing Nate with talks of more drinking and gambling. Nate fell for it and went out every chance he could to play, which struck her as odd because he was obviously horrible at it, constantly racking up huge sums of debt.

The drinking was already putting a strain on them financially and socially but when absurdly large men decked out in pin-striped suits, priggish grins plastered to their faces started showing up at her office every week to "collect" it was icing on the cake. Her boss had then proceeded to openly make a spectacle of her shady visitors, threatening to fire her if she didn't conduct herself in a more professional manner. She had left the office in tears, only to come home and find Dave and Nate just leaving.

"Where are you going?" she inquired carefully, tears still running silently down her cheeks. Nate didn't pay her any mind, brushing past her out onto the front stoop. Dave gave him a look and clicked his tongue in disgust at her.

"Hey man, you gonna let some broad talk to you like that?" Plainly annoyed by her presence Nate turned on a heel, the back of his hand hot against her pale face. Dave standing not far behind him, arms crossed over his chest was chuckling to himself while he chewed on a toothpick like some brahmin.

"Mind your own damn business Cady!" He roared.

Choking back a sob she inched backwards into the door, into the safety of the house, away from the eyes and ears of the neighborhood. Climbing into the passenger side of Dave's old rusty Pick-R-Up he didn't give another thought to her current state, didn't even look back at her. Slamming the door behind her, she dropped her bags where she stood and braced herself against the bookcase as the room began to spin around her. A rush of adrenaline surged through her as she ran down the hall, to their bedroom and tore apart the closet, flinging clothes over her head as she went. She'd made up her mind. There was no way in hell she was going to sit alone in that torture chamber waiting for salvation, that would surely never come, while he went out and lived his life without her. She sighed with relief, the sparkling red garment she'd once worn regularly on date nights with Nate was now beaming up at her under the soft glow of the fading sunlight through the windows, as if calling to her. Hurriedly she removed the depressing work attire she still adorned and slowly slid the slinky raiment over her hips with ease. It was a bit snug but she didn't mind that her hot little candy apple red dress hugged her curves like a brand new Corvega Cruiser on a scenic route along the beaches of Salem. Slipping into the sexy black heels that accompanied the dress she wasted no time primping the rest of herself in front of the mirror with haste. Tugging the bun loose she'd had up all day, her long blonde locks covered her shoulders as she gently pushed an equally bright headband back onto her head and finished the look with rose red lipstick. It took about ten minutes for the cab to arrive but it didn't matter in the least, the look on the man's face as he removed his hat from his balding head, mouth agape in awe as she sauntered past him to the cab was more than enough of a reward for having to wait impatiently. He energetically opened the cab door for her and as she slid into the cool leather seat a charming smile graced her porcelain face in thanks.

"Downtown Lexington please." He nodded as he returned to his seat behind the wheel.

"Of course mam,... to whereabouts exactly am I taking you?" his voiced pitched marginally as he tried not to stare from the rearview mirror.

"The Cat's Meow."

Expelling the remaining smoke from her lungs she couldn't help but chuckle to herself when she remembered that swanky club. It and all the people she'd known were the fun umbrella in her storm of constant chaos. She remembered that night like it was yesterday, one of her more prominent memories she kept close to her heart for it was the night she gained a small piece of herself back from the world.

The Cat's Meow was a strictly male review only entertainment club that was the newest hot spot in the area. The club was always full to the brim with patrons who came for the show and stayed for the booze. Thick clouds of smoke hovered idly about as the girls commanded the attention of all each time the navy blue curtains parted, making way for them to take center stage. The atmosphere grew quiet, aside from the casual clanking of ice pieces settling into emptied glasses. The girls were always wonderful to watch with their hilarious dance routines and equally enlightening musical numbers, in that risqué burlesque performance designed to please the eyes and feed the desires. She'd really lucked out getting the Hostess position, taking it without hesitation. Almost as if by fate one of the waitresses had noticed her sitting alone at the bar and approached her with the offer, explaining their dilemma of being short handed. She quickly realized that all the fighting and gambling she'd dealt with from Nate had been a blessing in disguise, as a second job allowed her to feed his addiction, against her better judgment, without him taking it out on her. Overall it was considerably less racy than her female counterparts and paid just as well. Cadence's required attire was basically what she'd already worn there that night and they weren't too picky as long as what she wore was flashy because it was inviting to the eye of mostly anyone walking through the door. It didn't take her long to fit in and in that moment, amidst the lively music, she whole heartedly felt like things would turn around. Six months was all it took before anything good would come of her situation and like breaching the surface of rough waters she finally felt deliverance. Sniffling quietly she pinched her arm angrily as a single tear escaped down her face. For the first time since promising herself she'd never cry she found herself unable to resist any longer.

After nearly losing the house Nate quit gambling and she'd stopped paying his way to ruin. Dave got caught up in a chem smuggling ring, was arrested and they were much better off for his absence in their lives. Nate still drank but he grew bored of exerting his energy so the beatings occurred less and less until he finally let go of the nightmares that had plagued him for so long. As she was leaving the club one evening, she noticed their station wagon parked along the curb across the street, a very somber Nate peering back at her. Leaning down into the passenger window she tilted her head at him, confusion written on her face.

"I...I uh...thought you could use a ride home,...if you wanted one." His tired eyes lingered longingly at her.

Without a word she climbed inside. The entire way home he poured his heart out to her, told her everything he'd been keeping locked away and apologized with no expectation of being forgiven. With every detail he'd divulged she died a little inside all over again. As he pulled into the driveway, turning off the ignition and parking he stiffened beneath her touch as she wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him. Cadence made it clear that she wasn't ready to forgive him but they eventually worked things out with the help of a therapist. The process was incredibly slow and it wasn't paradise, hell she knew better than to think such a thing even existed but things were better, that was all she could really hope for. Nate was put on medication for his depression and required to attend an alcoholics seminar regularly, which ultimately ended her employment at the club. Each day brought new challenges but nothing had been more nerve wracking for her than when they'd finally reached the point of intimacy again. Pulling her legs lazily up to her chest she tried to push back down the memory forcing itself out, completely and utterly unsuccessful in the end. Like a raging super mutant out for blood it came barreling through the barriers of her mind.

New Years had past two days prior but the neighborhood was still a buzz from celebrations and as they walked through the park on that bleak January evening, a shared cheerfulness was felt between them. The last rays of the sun had long disappeared bringing about the twilight and she drew the fleece blanket tighter over her shoulders, the cool of the night nipping playfully at her exposed skin, while they sat closely on a bench. He had delicately wound his fingers with hers sending the butterflies that laid dormant in her stomach into a frenzy. She knew what he wanted, part of her wanted it too but the fear, the mistrust, flooded her mind and drove a wedge between them each time. Eyes flitting about the night sky, filled with never ending strands of radiant stars, she could feel her chest tighten, panic setting in with each breath she took. He sensed her hesitancy, knew his failures were still fresh in her mind but he was ready for them to move past the discrepancies, to connect again on every level possible. She needed to know that he was sincere, that his words weren't empty, that he still cared, that he'd fallen in love with her all over again but more importantly he wanted her to feel it. Always the shy one, she was never the first to make a move and so the moments of timing would fall to him, a task he was more than willing to take. Her cheeks flushed as he gently draped his arm around her shoulder and she finally turned to meet his gaze. The shallow rise and fall of her chest sent small puffs of air drifting out from her parted lips, that seemed to invite him in. Pulling her closer, he paused momentarily when he'd reached to caress her face and she flinched instinctively. Lovingly, his fingers traced the curve of her jaw and he lifted her chin up to close the gap with his lips. She was lost in the kiss, her eyes lightly closed as she took in the familiarity of him. It was overwhelming and intoxicating all at once, the way they fell into each other like no time had passed at all and the way their bodies sought each other desperately. Clothing shed and fingers trailing, Nate lowered her onto the crisp grass, the blanket she'd donned for warmth now covering their naked forms as they moved in time. The luminous moon above shone down upon them as his fingers curled gingerly in her hair. She whimpered as he cried out her name and wrapped her arms around him, vowing to never let go again. The vivid flashes of a life, now a distant dream made her heart sink as the scattered puzzle pieces in her mind came crashing together. Releasing the grip on her legs she scooted forward to the edge of the seat, placing her feet back on the ground with little to no grace as her hands flew to her skull, clawing in protest at the vertigo that now plagued her.

The bitter cold of that month brought renewed trust and a most unexpected surprise in the weeks that followed. Watching out the front window, Nate paced nervously, waiting for her return from the doctors appointment he'd scheduled. Cadence had fallen ill rather suddenly and he was going out of his mind watching her suffer as three weeks drug on and she didn't get any better. She'd been unable to eat, lost large amounts of weight, energy constantly drained from her and she'd even fainted multiple times from dizziness. Sleep had become a distant friend as he laid in their bed each night watching over her. A terrible fear seized him as he watched over the sleeping form of his wife, afraid that she might not wake up. They'd come so far, he wasn't ready to let her go or give up on her so easily but he was almost certain now this was his punishment for what he'd done to her. He sighed heavily, his brain wandering carelessly to all kinds of horrible deductions she might come home with and chastising himself for thinking so negatively. Their newly acquired Mr. Handy, Codsworth, was busy tidying up the breakfast dishes, humming to himself as he did, which did nothing in the way of helping Nate's nerves at all, in fact it was irritating him beyond measure, though he said nothing. The clanking of each dish against the metal appendages of the robot finally drove him to a sitting position and he held his head in his hands. Covering his ears he tried to drown out the noise, if even for a moment, only to be poked repeatedly and most urgently by Codsworth.

"For God's sake what do you need?" Lifting his head up to the side he addressed the bot with disdain.

"My apologies Sir but it appears Madam Cadence has returned home, she's just outside the front door." He leapt to his feet, shoving the bot aside and swinging it open.

He pulled her inside and ushered her straight to the living room where he stared expectantly at her for an explanation. His brows furrowed when she closed the distance between them, her arms crossed behind his neck in an embrace. Her head pressed against his cheek, she whispered smoothly into his ear "I'm pregnant." A hovering, totally oblivious, Codsworth continued on with his daily duties, utterly uninterested in the peculiar behavior his two masters now displayed for one another. Nate's throat went dry and he pulled back from her briskly to see a beaming glow complimenting her delicate features. Chuckling loudly he wrapped his arms around her narrow waist, lifting her into the air he twirling her around until he brought her back down into an embrace. Reluctantly, she pulled away to rejoice in their newest blessing and there she saw pools of tears welling up in his eyes. He was elated and her heart exploded with happiness. From that point on Nate was completely devoted to her and the baby, who they'd later come to name Shaun.

The months flew by while they spent precious time preparing for his arrival and she recollected they had been some of the best times of their lives. One time in particular had stayed with her through all the tough times and even now it was one she was most fond of. Shortly before she'd given birth, she'd returned home from running errands in town to find Nate, followed closely behind by a very distraught Codsworth, covered in dried paint and a completed nursery. The butler bot was going on about how he'd be spending hours peeling off the paint from his ever shiny body plates, all while Nate and Cadence shared a brief first moment of parenthood. It was easy for anyone passing by to think their life amidst the white picket fences, luscious green grass and the robot help had always been a fantasy worth living, that it was without its struggles but they couldn't have been more wrong, for she'd lived through the hell of it and never wished the illusion on anyone. Oddly enough the universe had decided it wasn't done with her or Nate and so they'd be thrown yet again into the vortex of purgatory for another adventure. Brushing her hair aside she made no effort to prevent the contents of her stomach from making an appearance. She retched until the muscles contracting in her gut ceased their violent dancing, and she groaned with exhaustion. The last of the daily nightmare was finally coming to pass, and while she couldn't wait for it to be over with she knew it would pay her a visit again the next day, like clock work.

It was a week until Halloween and a seemingly normal day for them when she'd been forced to indulge the ever persistent Vault-Tec rep that came calling that morning. Nate had refused to talk to the man for fear of throat punching him over the idiotic sales pitch he'd bothered them with every day that week already. Giggling at his endeavor of self control she finally answered the door, to find the over enthusiastic man raring to go. Humbly she answered his questions and within a few seconds she'd secured their spots in the local vault, though at the time it seemed like a highly unnecessary, silly investment. The chipper gentleman thanked her, waved goodbye and went on his way. Sipping her freshly brewed, piping hot cup of coffee she exchanged playful words with Nate over piece of mind when Codsworth hollered erratically from Shaun's room for her maternal assistance. Setting down the mug on the kitchen counter she looked over at Nate who simply grinned like a baboon and shooed her away, saying he'd be right behind her in a minute or two. Codsworth steamed down the hallway with ferocity, she brushed past him and as she turned the corner into the baby's room her face lit up at the sound of his coos. Bending over the edge of the crib, her hand sailing smoothly over his cotton blanket, she lightly tickled his belly. Shaun's gurgles echoed softly as Nate shut the bedroom door behind him upon entering. He traipsed over to them, gloating cheerfully about the newest addition to the crib and she rolled her eyes. He made some offhanded joke about going back to the park after breakfast to which she replied with a snort.

It had all been fine...they were chatting, laughing, snuggling the baby, completely, blissfully enjoying that moment when Codsworths worrying cry was heard from the living room and their lives changed forever. Together the four of them gathered around the T.V., listening intently when the reporter made confirmation of the bombs dropping, and immediately she could hear the sirens blaring outside with urgency. They ran, ran for their lives with Shaun cuddled up in his rocket ship blanket, securely tucked into the crook of Nate's arms as they made for that God forsaken, over glorified ice chest. There was no time to think about the irony of needing the Vault in that very moment but it was there all the same. It all seemed surreal when she looked back on it now, but an affectionate lick from the ever faithful furry companion Dogmeat brought her back to reality. Shakily she stood, wiping her mouth on the back of her sapphire sleeve, her mind was made up. She'd been given a second chance at life, for better or worse it didn't matter, but whatever this was trying to keep her from fate wouldn't define her, she wouldn't let it, she'd come way to far for that now. The life she left behind was gone and no amount of sulking over it would change that she knew, she knew it was time to let go, time to live, time to fight, to survive, to find her son. Cadence stared out at the desolation before her, sniper rifle securely slung over her shoulder and Dogmeat by her side, she was ready for whatever the Commonwealth had waiting for her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Notes: Hello, apologies for not getting this chapter out sooner, I've been ill with the flu or whatever it is that is currently going around. Thank you for the support and please leave a review.**

* * *

Approaching the common house, or the neighborhood nook as she liked to call it, Cadence's eyes diligently swept the road for any signs of life. A nasty fog had settled in overnight and failed to to dissipate by the time she'd drug herself from another restless sleep, much to her chagrin. It was unusual not seeing anyone already moving about in these wee hours of the day, though she doubted right now she'd be able to make anyone out, she could barely see her hand in front of her face. The deafening quiet, while a tad unnerving was just what she needed to get her thoughts in order.

Rubbing tender circles over her temples she ventured to jump start her fried brain, the wheels and cogs remained resting in protest. Her mind was all kinds of unorganized lately and she knew if she didn't do something soon she'd likely go full psycho on everyone. She made a mental note not to sleep on the ground after today, she had enough issues without adding lower pack spasms to the list. Nimbly she bent over, her hands sliding over her lower back and squeezing at the aching muscles, she sighed.

"Well boy...looks like we'll have the workshop to ourselves for a bit." Her eyes wandered back to Dogmeat, who had paused mid trot to arch his back.

His lofty yawn turned to high pitched whine as he completed his stretch, claws scraping against the asphalt before returning to her side. As if on Que she could hear the hoarse hacking of the old seer coming from the nearest bedroom window as the closed the distance to the house. Of all the people in their little community, Mama Murphy, aside from Dogmeat of course, was her favorite person to be around. The woman was strong and witty, even in her old age, things Cadence admired greatly.

It never made a bit of difference that she was an addict, to each their own. In her opinion all that really mattered was that the lady was a genuinely good person, something the Commonwealth was seriously lacking in. Soundlessly she made her way over to the power armor station, arms crossing her eyes fixed on the helmet, the large bug like ovals glaring back menacingly. They fascinated her with their ability to strike fear into a person all while concealing just how scared shitless you actually were on the inside.

"Ya know kid, one of these days you won't need that hunk of scrap...you'll be stronger than you ever imagined." The soft spoken voice startled her, hand reaching intuitively for the ten millimeter holstered snugly on her hip.

Face flushed she turned, seeing the old woman smirking at her and carefully she released the death grip she'd had on the stock. With lips pursed she rested a hand on the shoulder of the metal man. She pondered the woman's words skeptically, knowing all too well how exceedingly vague her predictions were. Still, the fact remained that no matter how pointless it seemed to give anything she said any real weight, it made Cadence worry all the more.

"Geez lady, you tryin to give me a heart attack?"

Mama chuckled wryly, the creases nestled by her tired eyes crinkling with mirth. "I'm sorry, guess I still got a bit of Mad Murphy in me yet."

Shuffling over to the toolbox, Cadence began rummaging around, a feeble attempt at refraining from anymore talks of the future, which were easily dismantled by a short cough from the Seer's direction. Pooching her lips out, she turned slowly, her eyes furrowing as they met the slate blue of the old woman's. An eerie shiver ran down her spine.

"If you say so Mama..."

Murphy nodded dully before disappearing back into the house, slippers scuffing as she went.

Readily Cadence returned her attention to the task at hand, tongue poking out in concentration as she searched for the tools she needed and retreating only when they'd be acquired. Kneeling she slid the welding goggles she'd snatched from the workshop surface carefully over her face and set to work repairing the armor. Dogmeat flopped down on the cold concrete across from her, huffing with apparent boredom.

* * *

The swollen sun was high in the sky by the time she finished with all the repairs and upgrades, though it had only been an hour when the first settlers had stirred from slumber. They'd gone about their usual routines of small talk over meager helpings of what was barely considered a breakfast before wandering her way. One by one they wasted no time in expressing concerns to her about the settlement, all while she nodded absentmindedly in response. Already she had a full days work ahead of her and she hadn't even had the pleasure of seeing Preston yet.

Flinging the goggles across the room she stood, stretching her cramped legs out one at a time. There wasn't a chance to wipe the sweat from her forehead when Preston ambled up to her, tipping his hat in greeting. Habitually she ground her teeth at his presence. She knew she was too impatient with him sometimes, which made what she was about to do all the more worth it.

As he opened his mouth to speak, she stealthily popped a sweet roll in, the one she'd skipped over eating at breakfast. Inwardly she was dying with laughter. He instantly started choking on it, his hand snatching at the remaining chunk hanging out. Glaring he tossed it on the ground, to which the now lively pooch happily snapped up.

"General, what the hell was that for?"

"Oh nothing...just wanted to see what it'd be like with something nice coming out of your mouth for once." He straightened uncomfortably, slipping the strap of his gun over his shoulder.

"I know it's a lot to take on, but there isn't anyone else more capable or more qualified to be leader of the Minutemen, besides you've helped so many people already giving them homes, security,...a fighting chance. Surely you see how nice that is?"

Sighing grumpily she leaned back against the wall opposite him, one hand positioned on her hip. "Preston I have no plans to quit the Minutemen but it would be great if someone didn't need rescuing every five minutes...and in case you forgot I still have to find my son,"

Her words stung at his pride, deeply, and he solemnly hung his head, his fingers settling at the top of his worn leather belt. "I'm sorry...you're right, that's important too...but for what it's worth we just need to secure a workshop for a new settlement." Skin bristling she shifted her weight, biting back the rage building up in the pit of her stomach.

Not in any mood to argue further her disdain for being overburdened, she relented, flinging her arm out at him, eyes steadily rolling up to the ceiling. "Fine, mark it on my map and I'll head there after I take care of some things in Goodneighbor first..."

Pausing in thought, her head spun towards him, a stern glare boring into him. "Before you you say a word, I'm aware of your opinions on where I'm headed and I don't need to be refreshed or lectured about it."

Clearing his throat, he nodded in response, his finger clicking away impatiently. She watched a few settlers meander down the street, smiling, waving at her as they did. He was right and she knew it, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of rubbing it in her face. If nothing else came of her continued existence on this wretched earth she'd at least be able to die knowing how much she helped those in need and damn if it didn't feel good to be appreciated.

Finished, Preston re-positioned his laser musket securely in his arms, slightly tilting his head at her. "I don't expect you'll be back for a while, so I'll get with Ronnie if something comes up...good luck Mam."

"Thanks I guess."

Eyebrows raised quizzically she peered down at the bright green screen of her Pip-Boy, her other hand idly tugging the hair at the base of her skull. The new settlement would mean another safe haven and more Minutemen support in the future but already she wasn't thrilled for the journey there. It was off the coast, a few days east of County Crossing at best but she'd be coming up from the city which meant a week for sure, maybe more. Without further need for discussion she pushed away from the wall, purpose filling each step, she sent out a high pitched whistle for her companion.

* * *

It was midnight by the time they finally made it to the entrance, both covered in a rather offensive concoction of blood, sweat, and guts. Drowsily she stared down at her furry companion, who was anxiously pacing, seemingly ready for round two of their favorite traveling game, massacre the mutants. Clanking from the suit made her flinch beneath the claustrophobic mask, as she knelt carefully down to her friend and was met with excited tail wagging. A languid smile formed on her haggard face as he continued his infectious nuzzling against the cold metal of her arm.

"You are relentless, you know that?" Ears perking he gave a chipper bark.

She hastily dug an old rag out of the supply pack she'd rigged to the armor on his back. Returning to her aching feet, her face contorted in disgust as she wiped away the remaining bits of mutilated flesh still clinging to her. Tossing the soiled rag into the nearby barrel full of burning debris, she looked up into the cloudless pitch black sky, no stars were visible and she exhaled heavily from exhaustion. Noting the rare silence around her she gently pushed open the worn red door, her companion trotted past her, tongue lolling happily with drool as they crossed the threshold into Goodneighbor.


End file.
